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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Hints, Allegations, and Things Left Unsaid...

Who's been MIA for quite some time but is now taking a break from her tasks at work to bring you a brand new blog?  HINT:  GRACIE!!!!!  Yes, yes. I know.  "Boo!" for those who neglect their awesome blogs but hey, I've been dealing with some shit and am finally ready to upchuck it in the form or legible literature for your entertainment pleasure!!  Righty-O, here we go...

It's been just a few days shy of a month since my last post and I must be truthful when I say that sometimes, when things are just 10 kinds of fucked up in my life, I do not have the urge to write until I have analyzed it about 30 times in my head and gotten over it.  With this being said, Mr. NRN is no longer in this film. I have written him out and no longer have the desire to keep him as a character.  He finally (after I told him to just say it and put it out there so I can stop thinking about him all the time and hang it all up) told me that he does not have the same feelings for me that I have (had) for him.  I mean, I DESERVE to have someone pay me equal amounts of attention as I pay them and it just wasn't happening. Furthermore, if you do not have the same feelings for someone, freaking TELL them instead of keeping them on that string you tug on once in a while and have some compassion for the other persons feelings.  I'm a big girl, I can handle it.  As a result, I am quite happy to say that I don't think about him NEARLY as much as I used to and find it calming and feel a sense of relief that I am recovering quite nicely from this particular rejection.  This is good.  Where's the "like" button?  LOL

Yesterday, BD texted me and asked "How's the baby doing?"  ...  Really?  How impersonal.  So I answered, "He's fine." and promptly left it at that.  As of right now, it's been a little over 13 months since BD has come up to see Monkey.  If you really want to know how he's doing, come and see for yourself.  And just so you know, we don't have a "baby" anymore. We have a toddler who is running around this place with his hair on fire, has 16 teeth in his head and eats table food.  Also, his name is "Monkey"...or did you forget that as well as how to save a few dollars every pay period to be able to "afford" to come see your child?  ...things left unsaid...

I finally got to take my ASSETT test and just in time to figure out that I waited long enough to not get into classes this semester.  The goal is to hit up the spring semester and roll that ball then.

I am pleased to say that Blondie and I have begun to get closer as friends and I just love it.  I miss having girlfriends so close to me that I can see that particular day if I so feel the need.  She's having a rough time with life right now and I am thankful that I can be her comedic relief sometimes when she is down.  She's made me laugh at myself and my situations more times than I can remember and it's nice to repay the favor.  LOL  Please keep her in your prayers as she is in mine.

Which brings me to my next topic.  For a really long time, I did not go to church.  But recently, as in the last few months, I have done my best to go when life allowed and I wasn't out of town or home with a sick child.  I find that I am feeling better about myself, my situation and that I am able to better help my friends when they need comfort and/or a solid friend.  Red also found herself up against a wall last month and I bought her first Bible for her and sent it through the mail.  She loves it and has also found strength in it.  That makes me happy.  :)

Unfortunately, I must get back to work.  Sucks, but I gotta make some money. LOL  Hope y'all are doing well!!

Ciao!

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