Or at least it would seem so. Lately, Mr. History has been MIA...literally. Right before Christmas, he calls me after having not heard a peep from him for a while, and we embark on a conversation that is of a very personal nature. I'll not tell you the contents or it's subject matter out of respect for him, but just know that it was not the kind of conversation that you would have with someone unless you very much trusted that person. It was a random phone call (which was great because in lieu of texting, he went straight to calling), with an even more random subject, a few more texts over the next day or so...and then POOF! Gone again. Now, this has become his MO as of late. I'm losing that "shiny new penny" feeling of special-ness. He's very sporadic. And VERY hard to read. Case in point: I don't hear from him for a while and then I got a text from him telling me Happy New Year in which he used a nickname for me. People rarely use a nickname for me unless they are family or friends so close that they SHOULD be family. But just as quickly as he re-emerged, he was gone again. *sigh* I'm not really sure what to think at this point. This has been on the coat tails of yet another weekend he had mentioned something about coming to see me...and didn't. The Beav has said Mr. History needs to get his shit together...I'm leaning towards agreement with her. We both start back up with school (and me taking on more than I have in the past) in less than two weeks. Time is wasting. Smh. I dunno.
Anywho...
Christmas was great. Spent time with family, Monkey made out like a little bandit... It was just a good holiday in general. Maybe next year, Monkey and I will have someone special to share it with. Until then, 2012 needs to be a landmark year. I've begun using my Noom app again and wondering how I'm going to stick to under 2K calories a day...Look at how many calories is in a Whopper. Guess what Gracie would LOVE to have right now. A big, fat, juicy Texas Whopper. And it's not gonna happen. F@#*%! :( <--- Sad faced Gracie. I've made no resolutions. In fact, I'm tired of making resolutions just so I can feel like a complete failure for the 12 months that I don't accomplish anything. Why? Just because "it's the thing to do"? No thanks. I'll just watch my caloric intake and do activities that are fun and resemble exercise when I can. I've also reduced my "weight to lose" goal to a much less scarier number. I'm going to start with 10 pounds. At 10 pounds lost, I'll reassess and set another goal. Baby steps. As Bethenny Frankel puts it, "do what you can, when you can".
Monkey will be three this year. I will be 32 towards the end of the year in the fall. I'm looking at possibly being laid off this year as cuts in Defense are made and the downsize starts hitting closer to home...but I want this year to be something I survive because it's who I am. I want to reclaim this life I live and just get back to being me. I'm so far off the mark and I've lost most of my self control. If nothing else, I want my sense of self discipline back. I want to be proud of me again. But as I've said, no resolutions. None at all. Just one day at a time. One step at a time. This year, I'll make another attempt at Finding Gracie. Who knows what else I'll find along the way!!
Anywho...
Christmas was great. Spent time with family, Monkey made out like a little bandit... It was just a good holiday in general. Maybe next year, Monkey and I will have someone special to share it with. Until then, 2012 needs to be a landmark year. I've begun using my Noom app again and wondering how I'm going to stick to under 2K calories a day...Look at how many calories is in a Whopper. Guess what Gracie would LOVE to have right now. A big, fat, juicy Texas Whopper. And it's not gonna happen. F@#*%! :( <--- Sad faced Gracie. I've made no resolutions. In fact, I'm tired of making resolutions just so I can feel like a complete failure for the 12 months that I don't accomplish anything. Why? Just because "it's the thing to do"? No thanks. I'll just watch my caloric intake and do activities that are fun and resemble exercise when I can. I've also reduced my "weight to lose" goal to a much less scarier number. I'm going to start with 10 pounds. At 10 pounds lost, I'll reassess and set another goal. Baby steps. As Bethenny Frankel puts it, "do what you can, when you can".
Monkey will be three this year. I will be 32 towards the end of the year in the fall. I'm looking at possibly being laid off this year as cuts in Defense are made and the downsize starts hitting closer to home...but I want this year to be something I survive because it's who I am. I want to reclaim this life I live and just get back to being me. I'm so far off the mark and I've lost most of my self control. If nothing else, I want my sense of self discipline back. I want to be proud of me again. But as I've said, no resolutions. None at all. Just one day at a time. One step at a time. This year, I'll make another attempt at Finding Gracie. Who knows what else I'll find along the way!!
