Talkin' trash 'cause I can

Every now and then I feel the urge to spew forth a little bit of venom and today is the lucky day.

Co-workers:

Miss Overbearing.  When I first got here, she was my trainer. I must admit, in all fairness, she knows her stuff. Inside and out.  And she is an excellent worker and full of knowledge pertaining to her job.  She's been at this about 2 years in this particular place and many years in other areas.  However, she is very...peculiar.  She and I worked together but on opposite shifts.  She was on day crew and I was on nights.  The office and work space that we shared was hers for approximately 2 years prior to my arrival and she is a clean freak.  I can be at times too but she sprays Lysol at people if they turn their head and cough, in the opposite direction.  Uh, that seems like a little much to me. And it's the stinky "Original" scent that smells like essence of old man.  Gross.  And she is very secretive.  I can't trust someone who is so secretive.  They freak me out.  Like heebie jeebies.  Her husband works here too and sometimes it seems like they have one brain.  He stares at her like he's going to eat her and it's creepy.  They are too much...and always thinking someone is out to get them...they make me tired.   Blech.  I don't want to work with her again in the event that they put night crew back together. (Night crew served it's purpose and practically ran through all the "work" we were hired on to do.  My supervisor could not justify having two PCC's on day crew when other shops had none, so I was moved to another section but remain under that particular work center when night crew all went to days.)  She's just way too hyper and get wrapped way too tight around the proverbial axle. 

The Smeller.  OK, I have long been attracted to a good smelling man...let me clarify that.  I can appreciate a man who takes the time to smell good.  Men's cologne is one of my weaknesses, within good reason.  If he's an old geezer, eh, he might have on today's scent, but he's still a geezer...  But The Smeller in question has his days where he smells better than others.  Ralph Lauren makes a cologne named "Polo" and it's got many others like Polo Sport, Polo Blue, Polo Black, etc.  But the one I'm talking about is just "Polo". It's in a green bottle and it smells like old guy.  It's very spicy, very strong and a little goes a LOOOOONG way.  The Smeller does not understand that when he bathes in it, I can smell him in the parking lot from my office, and my sinus' go into overdrive.  It is, needless to say, not one of my very most favorites.  As a matter of fact, it has been downgraded from the "Slightly Tolerable" list to the "Oh My Gosh, Not Again, I'm Gonna Puke" list.  Yesterday was an "I'm Gonna Puke" day...

The "I'm So Hot" (and it's all in his own head) Guy.  Aka The Troll.  The Troll happens to be short, pudgy, and obnoxiously loud.  Typical day to day attire consists of an over sized flannel type jacket (frayed), a way over sized t-shirt, and old guy style tennis shoes and if I'm not mistaken, the kind with VELCRO!!  I kid you not... I'll have to get back to you with confirmation on that one but I'm almost certain.  So, as if that is not enough to have you rolling your eyes with "are you serious right now" running through your head...he also thinks he's funny and God's gift to women!!  I wish y'all could see this guy.  He's a TRAIN WRECK.  I can't help but bite holes in my tongue on a daily basis to keep from telling him JUST how ridiculous he is.  Oh, and the worst part is when he opens his mouth.  Know that movie Monsters, Inc?  The Pixar film about the monsters that scare children for their screams to make energy?  Well, when The Troll gets riled up, which is on a daily basis over something, he sounds like the little short, fat, one eyed monster.  Like, no joke.  Nails. Chalkboard.

The Sounding Board.  She is my favorite.  She is that one co-worker you have that is more than willing to share a laugh/gripe about a co-worker, child (we both have at least one), situation, and anything else you can come up with.  She's that one person who shares an open door policy (like, a real one) with you and the door swings both ways.  Gotta have one or else you go crazy.

I'm sure I'll have more to complain about on another day but I just had to get this out there.  LOL