Not gonna happen

You are probably wondering what happened with Mr. Geek Squad. Well, I was disappointed. I was disappointed in several things but the first thing I realized when I first saw him was that he had not had a haircut in like, a month or two, I swear.  I'm still not down to my ideal weight. But I do not allow that to be an excuse or a crutch to not take care of myself.  Before this trip, I made the effort to have my hair done again, my eyebrows waxed, clean clothes to travel with, etc.  I wore makeup most of the time. I didn't do these things for anyone but MYSELF. Keeping up with my outward appearance is important to me. Even my weight though it's a little more difficult due to time constraints...  I do things to make myself feel better and more presentable. It was apparent that he cares not for his own appearance. Otherwise, I believe he would have at least gotten himself a haircut. It always makes a difference.

The second thing I noticed was that he had gained weight. (We all have our reasons for gaining weight. Mine was pregnancy. I was healthy before I became pregnant and with being a single mom, it's difficult for me to find time to exercise, but I do. It might not be everyday, but I find ways to if not be able to lose my weight, to maintain it and not gain more. It's the least I can do for myself.) Now, I know for a fact that he JUST left a job that left him with an abundance of free time. Why wasn't he using that time to focus on himself and to make himself healthy again? To make himself feel better (since he more than once commented on his own weight so I know he is conscious of it)? The truth lies in the fact that he plays computer games all night and neglects sleep on some occasions. He also is less conscious of what he eats. Example... We (Mr. Geek Squad, BFF, myself, BFF's kiddos, and Monkey) all went to the children's museum in New Orleans. Prior to that, we ate at the WWII museum's restaurant "The American Sector". We each ordered sandwiches. These things came out in seriously large portions. There was also an appetizer in which I chose to only slightly partake in. After our meal, I was stuffed. I had a few of the homemade chips that came with my sandwich and half of my sandwich. I boxed the rest up and took it to go. He ate on the appetizer, his whole sandwich (a shrimp po'boy), 2 beers I think, and also had a vanilla milkshake, to go.  I'm sure he was playing when he said it but he made the comment that we (BFF and I) were "lightweights".  Um, no. So I told him that just because we weren't being pigs didn't mean that we were "lightweights" and he told me I was rude. Yeah. Ok. Truth hurt a little?    And it wasn't just this incident. There were a few. He chose to sit at BFF's house playing Angry Birds on his Xoom and later told me that he felt ignored. WTF?  I don't have the time to sit around and play video games all the time. And even if I did, I doubt that is what I would choose to do.

Before we headed into the city, he had asked me if I wanted him to drive. I don't remember saying it but I won't deny saying it either, but apparently my answer was "duh?"  And I probably DID say that...right before I got to thinking that this person likes to do in excess of 120 mph in his Honda Civic going to and from work, etc. I am lead from the knee down on the right side. I speed. However. I do not top out at 140 or whatever. And I doubt that I would...even if "my car was made to go that fast".  Then put it on a freaking closed circuit track and do your excessive speeds where the only person you are going to KILL when (not if) you loose control of that car is YOU! Even the trained and "been doing it their entire lives" race car drivers wreck. It's not if, it's when.  So, we go outside and it's friggin' hot and muggy. I start loading Monkey into the Xterra, and he starts asking me what I'm doing. Logic says, the car seat is in the Xterra. It wasn't moved. And it's too damn hot out here to be moving it 3 minutes before I pull out of the driveway. So I told him I was driving and he starts pitching a fit about me telling him I wanted him to drive and now all of a sudden I'm driving and blah, blah, blah. Whatever. Get in the truck and let's go. We went over to BFF's house and I had intended originally for him to drive from there into the city but when he pitched his fit, "I just don't understand why we can't take the HHR." (Again, the car seat issue... Let's think about this.)  Also, I don't like his HHR. Not because it's his but because it sits lower to the ground than my Xterra does. No offense to those of you who have cars, but I don't like feeling like my ass is dragging on the asphalt. Personal preference. Not to mention, have you ever really looked at an HHR? They're shaped like a hearse!!!!!!  No thank you!!!!!!


Another thing that I just can't swallow is that he does not believe in God. He has some sort of "theological" view point to where he has to be proven there is such a being. Whatever. Not my cup of tea. Some things fall under seeing is believing. Faith falls under believing is seeing. I care not to argue this point with him or anyone else for that matter. We all have our beliefs but that doesn't mean I have to endure his.  I don't know. It's partially my fault for allowing the "what if we get back together" conversations as to HIS disappointment in my visit. I just don't think that a physical relationship (there wasn't one) is enough, with such major differences in opposition, is enough to keep something meaningful alive. Not just between he and I, but between anyone seeking such. I don't need the stress and just won't deal with it.